


Safe In My Arms

by BabyBoomBoom0029



Series: On Your Side: The Chronicles of Danny and Linda Reagan [1]
Category: Blue Bloods (TV)
Genre: Drama, Emotional, F/M, Family, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-08 21:28:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10396554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabyBoomBoom0029/pseuds/BabyBoomBoom0029
Summary: How did Danny ever cope with Linda being shot? How did it affect him to almost lose his wife? Prequel to Out Of The Darkness





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally dedicated to my faithful reviewers on my other stories. Patricia, Jen Mayer, and Kirby. You have all been so amazing and I love getting comments/reviews from you all. It makes me so happy to know you enjoy my writing. So hopefully this will be just as good as my other stories. :) Enjoy!

Danny Reagan was sure he'd never feel as scared as he did the moment his partner told him that his wife had been shot. He had to watch her be wheeled into surgery without being able to see her. Without being able to kiss her or tell her he loved her. He had to sit and wait for a doctor to tell him that his wife almost died, twice. And that they couldn't get the second bullet right away or it could kill her. He had to watch the guy that almost killed his wife go free under the thumb of his father and sister. Of course, he was pissed off. Wouldn't they be? Unstable. That's what his father had said when he assigned Erin to watch over him. That he wanted to make sure Danny didn't do anything stupid because he was unstable. The mother of his children was lying in a hospital bed. She'd had a breathing tube in because he body couldn't breathe without the help of a machine. Unstable was an understatement. When Linda had finally been released from the hospital, Danny had taken a full week of time off.

Danny sat on the edge of the bed while Linda washed up in the bathroom, "Are you alright?" He asked as he changed his shirt.

"I'm okay." Linda said shakily. She slowly walked out of the bathroom towards their bed. Danny had made it pretty clear on the car ride home that he intended to keep her in bed and dote on her hand and foot for as long as possible. Linda hadn't realized how scared he was until he almost shot the kid delivering them their Palm dinner the family had sent over.

Danny walked over to his wife letting her take his arm for support, "Let's get you in bed." 

"Home for less than two hours and already trying to get me in bed, Detective?" Linda teased.

"I just don't want you to push yourself." Danny said sincerely, completely missing the innuendo Linda had made. Danny tucked his wife in bed while he finished changing, "Do you need anything?" He asked.

Linda looked over at her nightstand. Danny had brought her up water, ice chips, medicine, a light snack, everything she could possibly ask him for, "I just need you." She patted the bed beside her, "You need to rest too. You've been working and up with me in the hospital." She said, "Come lay down with me." Danny slid into bed carefully. He propped himself up on one arm, watching his wife closely. Danny barely touched her shoulder with his fingertips when Linda shifted closer, "I won't break if you hold me." She looked up at him.

"I don't want to hurt you." Danny had carefully listened to the discharge instructions. When the doctor said she could have some pain, be careful moving around and her back would be sore for a while, Danny cemented it in his head. He was scared to touch her for fear of hurting her accidentally. It was different with her in the hospital bed. There was only so much room and she was sitting mostly upright. Lying down in their bed seemed like it was so much riskier.

"You could never hurt me." Linda replied. She felt a tear slip from her eye.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Danny practically jumped to find out why she was upset.

"Nothing. I'm not hurt. I'm fine." She shook her head. She knew they had both been under major stress lately. She didn't see a need in pulling Danny into her emotional crisis at the moment.

Danny softly caressed his wife's face, "Then tell me, what's wrong?" He asked.

"I just need sleep." She half-lied. She did need the sleep but that wasn't her problem at the moment. Her problem was that her husband seemed to be afraid of touching her, and all she wanted was the safety of his arms around her.

"Linda. I don't need to be a cop to know when you're lying." He said softly, "Are you in pain? Please talk to me." Danny felt his heart breaking as he watched his wife cry.

Linda debated what to say. She took a few deep breaths, "I'm scared." She whispered.

"Oh, honey." Danny frowned. How was he supposed to be able to tell his wife she was safe when the person that shot her was allowed to go into hiding? How was she supposed to feel safe knowing that kid could shoot someone else? The person that told Curtis to shoot Hector was awaiting a death penalty in federal lockup but that didn't do enough justice. Curtis almost killed her. And he was practically a free man. Danny sighed not knowing what to do, "What can I do to help you?" He asked.

"I don't know. Just hold me?" Linda asked. She wasn't sure herself how to feel safe with Curtis running around free.

Danny nodded his head, "I just don't want to hurt you." He carefully slipped his arms around his wife. His heart leaping in his throat as he felt the bandages on her back. Danny kissed her forehead, "You'll tell me if you're hurting? Tell me if I hurt you." He practically pleaded with her.

Linda nodded her head, "You won't." She took a deep breath, "You can reach your gun right?" She asked.

Danny looked questioningly at her, "Why?"

"Just in case." She was terrified of someone coming after her or their family.

"In case?" Danny probed.

Linda sighed softly, "I just want to be prepared." She said.

"Honey. No one is coming here. No one is going to hurt you." He promised, "I won't let anyone come near you." Danny gently kissed her.

"But can you reach it?" She asked. 

"Yeah. And it's loaded. It's locked but loaded." Danny said. He normally kept his service weapon locked in the box on the top shelf of the coat closet. Leaving his secondary weapon empty with a magazine beside it in his nightstand drawer at night. He never kept any gun loaded in case the boys ever were snooping around. But tonight Danny just couldn't unload it. He couldn't shake the feeling of terror. He knew they were safe but it helped to know he could defend his wife at a moments notice.

Linda nodded her head, "Okay." Her voice shook slightly.

"You're safe." Danny said softly, "I promise you, Linda. You're safe."

"I know. I know that." She nodded, "I just keep seeing it." She said, "The flash. I didn't even know. Not until Mark saw the blood. And now I can't get it out of my head." She started to cry.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I should have been there." Danny felt guilty for not protecting his wife.

"You didn't know." Linda said, "You couldn't have known." Linda looked up at Danny from where she lay with her head on his chest, "Danny." She sighed heavily, "Don't blame yourself. This wasn't your fault."

Danny nodded his head, "But it wasn't your fault either and that monster is able to get away with it." He said bitterly.

"I know. I'm not happy about it either. And it scares the hell out of me that Curtis could do this again. But it's not your fault. None of this is." Linda said.

"But I should have been able to protect you. I'm your husband. Even without being a cop. I'm your husband. I should protect you." Danny explained.

"And you are. Right now. You're keeping me safe." Linda said.

Danny kissed the top of his wife's head, "I love you so much, Linda. I don't know what I'd ever do if I lost you." He held his wife close, "I still can't believe Erin and Dad were okay with that deal for that monster."

Linda bit her lip, "I know. I would have thought Frank of all people would have been with you on getting Curtis behind bars." 

"I know that legally it was better to get Wallace and Hunt but it's not enough." Danny said, "But you're safe. And that's what matters most. You're safe. And I'm going to everything I can to help you through this." Danny promised her.

"I just wish Frank had been on your side. And Erin didn't babysit." Linda said knowing how Danny was under Erin's thumb while trying to find Hunt and get a confession from Curtis.

"I know. Me too. But I'll hash that with them. I think they were partially right. If Erin wasn't there I think I'd have snapped that kids neck the second I saw him." Danny said honestly, "For now, you just worry about resting and getting better."

Linda nodded her head, "Don't leave. Okay?" She asked scared to wake up alone.

"I won't. I'll be right here when you wake up." Danny kissed her forehead, "I'm not leaving. I won't let you go." Danny said, "I love you."

"I love you too." Linda kissed her husband.

Danny ran his fingers through her hair and down her back as the pain medication helped Linda fall asleep for most of the morning. He lay in bed holding his wife letting all the fear of losing her mull around in his mind. There was nothing he could have done differently. No matter how many times he went over it in his head, there was nothing he could do that would have kept his wife from being shot. Danny kissed Linda's head as she slept. The only thing he could do now was help her heal. Maybe when she was better, Danny would be better. The doctor had said she'd experienced signs of PTSD. And he understood how scary getting shot could be. He prayed he'd be able to help her through the trauma and recovery. He didn't know this was just the beginning of a trauma that would last for years. He could have never known what was going to happen or how their family would change because of it.


	2. Chapter 2

Over the next few days neither Danny or Linda got any sleep. Linda was up with nightmares of getting shot and Danny couldn't get the sight of his wife bleeding on a gurney out of his head. Once the bandages were off for good Linda hoped it would make Danny feel a bit better. She'd just have a few scars on her back. Danny wouldn't feel the bandage when he went to hold her anymore. That evening Linda went to bed with Danny spooned up behind her. She didn't expect to wake up to Danny calling for her.

"Linda." He said still asleep, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Linda turned around to see Danny facing away from her starting to thrash around a bit. As if he was trying to search for her, "Linda, baby. I'm sorry. Please don't leave me. I need you. Don't go. No. Linda." Danny's voice got more and more desperate as his nightmare continued, "Linda, please don't go." Linda jumped back as Danny bolted upright in bed, "No!" He shouted as he woke up from his nightmare.

"Danny?" She asked, "Hey. Look at me." She cautiously put her hand on his shoulder.

Danny was covered in sweat and shaking. He took a deep breath trying to calm himself down before noticing she was still talking to him, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." He ran his hand over his face and sighed, "I'm sorry. I'm fine. Go back to sleep. It's okay." Danny got out of bed and walked into the bathroom without looking back at his wife. He felt so upset he didn't know what to do. He didn't want to bother Linda with his problems. After all, it was Linda that was shot. Linda that almost died. Linda that would never get justice. Linda that had to endure two surgeries to save her life. Danny washed his face with cool water and took off his wet t shirt. When he got back into bed he felt like a complete jerk. Linda was lying in their bed, crying. Danny put his arm around her waist, "Hey. I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry." He assumed she was crying because he called out and startled her. He'd done it a few times when he came back from his overseas tours in the Marines. He'd even woken up from a nightmare to find her standing beside the bed because he'd started swinging fists in his sleep, "I'm sorry." He apologized again.

Linda shook her head, "It's not that." She curled into herself a bit.

"Then what is it? Are you in pain? Are you okay?" Danny's mind flew to the numerous other possibilities.

"I'm fine." She said. She wasn't crying because she was hurt. She was upset that he wouldn't talk to her. It had been days since Danny said anything about how he was feeling. He just brushed it off and told her he was fine. Continued to ask her about how she was feeling. It was like he didn't care.

"Linda." Danny pressed a kiss to the back of her shoulder, "You're not fine if you're crying." He pointed out.

Linda turned to face him, "Why do I have to tell you what's wrong? Why can't you tell me what's bothering you? You don't have nightmares where you're calling for me and getting upset for no reason. So why are you keeping it from me? You're obviously upset. With good reason but you won't talk to me about it so how can I help you? How can I do my job as your wife and help you through this if you refuse to even talk to me about it?" She said getting angry with him.

"Linda. It's not a big deal." Danny said.

"Getting shot isn't a big deal?" She asked misunderstanding him, "Maybe not to you but it is to me Danny!" She flipped back around, turning her back to him. 

"That's not what I meant." He argued, "Linda. Honey." He put his hand on her shoulder again, only this time she shrugged it off.

"Don't okay. Because you'll apologize and hug me and I'm upset so that will calm me down and I don't want that right now. I want to be mad at you." She said only half making sense to Danny.

"What are you mad about?" He asked not understating her.

"Never mind. You're a detective. Detect." She huffed.

Danny sighed and turned over on his back, "I love you."

"I love you. But I'm still mad at you." She said. As much as they could fight and for how hard they went at each other sometimes they'd always made sure they knew the other was loved. Even when they were arguing. It started after one really big fight. Danny had gone to their bedroom to cool off, then got called into work, leaving Linda home alone, and pregnant. She had fallen asleep on the couch and woke up to Danny gone. He'd left her a note saying he went to work but she was terrified that the note was an excuse for him to leave her. She cried herself back to sleep. Hours later when Danny came home he found her hysterically upset. It had taken him a while to calm her down. Once he realized she thought he left her and wasn't coming back, he not only vowed to always come home, but that no matter how much they fought, he'd never stop loving her. He told her that he fought for her. He fought for their marriage. Because he wanted it to work. He wanted it to last. Sometimes the only way to hold onto something is to fight for it. And while fighting all the time wasn't good, no one is happy with someone every second of every day. So as long as they love each other they can work through anything. Linda couldn't recall what the fight was about. But she remembered feeling lost, alone, terrified, and sad when she thought of Danny leaving. It still hurt to think about it almost seventeen years into their marriage.

Danny didn't fall back asleep that night. He watched over Linda. Rubbed her back when she started whimpering and crying in her sleep. He held her tight when she started crying for him. All too soon, his phone started to ring. Beaz was calling letting him know they caught a case. Technically he still had three more days of leave but this was a triple homicide with some very wealthy victims so Danny was requested to go in.

Danny got ready for work. When he stepped out of the bathroom Linda was standing near the dresser holding his shield in her hands. She was staring at it almost as if she was lost in thought, "Did I wake you?" He approached her.

Linda shook her head, "Not really." She said, "Thought you had more time off?" She asked.

"Big case dropped. They asked for me specifically." Danny said, "I can bang out sick if you need me here." He offered.

Linda carefully slid Danny's shield onto his belt, "It's okay. I'm okay. You just remember to come home to me." Linda softly kissed her husband's lips.

Danny wrapped his arms around her waist keeping her from walking away from him, "Call me if you need me. The boys will be at school so you'll be alone for the day." He wished there was someone that could stay home with her today. Her eyes were bloodshot still and she looked as if she was going to cry at the drop of a hat.

"I will. But I'll be okay." She hugged Danny tight, "Vest?" She asked. Danny normally didn't wear his vest under his shirt. Unless he was going in somewhere that he could get shot at.

"Just in case. But nothing is going to happen." He promised.

"It better not. Only one of us with a gunshot wound at a time, please." She smiled, "You come home to me. Do you hear me?"

Danny nodded, "I hear you. I will. I promise." He kissed his wife again, "It's early. You've got a few hours before the boys get up for school. Why don't you lay back down?" He suggested. Linda nodded her head, allowing Danny to put her back to bed. She closed her eyes as he left with a kiss to her cheek on his way out. Linda already was nervous. She was scared of what could happen to him while he worked. But Danny lived for work almost as much as he did for his family. So maybe this would help, Linda thought. Maybe Danny working would help him get through this. Especially if he wasn't going to talk to her about it. She just wished she knew what he was thinking. She wished she could help him. She wished she didn't feel so guilty for making him so upset. She wished everything would just stop spiraling down in her life. She hated how she felt lately. She knew she was being irrational at times but Linda didn't know how to stop it.


	3. Chapter 3

Danny walked into the precinct behind his partner. They'd ran into a dead end on the tip they were chasing and came back to the precinct to see where else they could hunt for the man who killed a whole family and took nothing. It wasn't a home invasion. And it wasn't a robbery gone bad. They weren't sure what they were looking for but it definitely was personal.

"How's Linda?" Beaz sat down at her desk.

"She's alright I guess. She's not like us. We're trained, we are going to get shot one day. She never expected it. I can't even recall a time she ever held my gun unless she was moving the lock box or something." Danny replied, "You know what really gets me. This kid shot her, killed Hector and he gets to walk away from it. A new life. Because he's a kid and he gave up his boss. Where's the justice in that?" Danny sighed.

"Well, they let the smaller fish go to catch a bigger one. You know that's how this works." Beaz said.

"There is no small fish here. Just a punk kid who gets away with attempted murder." Danny flipped open the case file they were working on, "So if the small fish works for one case whose to say this guy isn't some small fish? He only killed one family. Didn't steal anything. No signs of forced entry. No sexual assault on the female vic. Nothing to suggest a typical crime. Maybe it was a hit. Maybe if we can flip this guy he can get away with killing someone too. Where's the line?" 

"It's not always like that." Beaz said. She understood where Danny was coming from. If it was her loved one that got shot she'd want his head on a platter as well. But there was nothing they could do. The deal had been done and Curtis was practically a free man.

Danny sighed, "Well the system sucks. My wife almost died and there's no real justice for her."

"But we got Hunt and Wallace. Isn't that justice?" Beaz asked.

"So what, Linda was in the wrong place at the wrong time? Still. She was shot by Curtis so Curtis should have to own up to that." Danny felt his cell phone vibrate. He answered immediately seeing Linda's name pop up, "You alright? What happened?" He quickly asked.

"I'm alright. I was just checking in." Linda said, "I haven't heard from you and you said you'd be home soon. So I just wanted to call." Linda had no real reason to call but her own fear of Danny being hurt.

"I'm sorry. I got tied up. Looks like it's going to be a late night. Why don't you order dinner for you and the boys. That way you don't have to stand and cook anything." Danny suggested.

"Yeah. Okay. Be careful." Linda said disappointed he wouldn't be coming home until well after she was asleep.

"I will be." Danny said, "Try and get some rest. Love you." He knew she'd probably not sleep till he got home. Which just put more pressure on him to get this case done with.

"Love you." Linda replied before ending the call.

Danny sighed, "It's not fair." He mumbled to himself while looking through the case file.

"Danny!" Erin yelled as she walked towards his desk, "I think I have someone who might know about your case." She sat down next to his desk, "The woman that was murdered was a witness of mine. We were working on a case where she heard a guy smacking his girlfriend around. This is the guy." Erin handed him a slip of paper.

"Amazing." Danny took the paper to see if the man's name was in the file.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Erin asked.

"It means that when it's something for you or involving you, you want me to investigate. But when my wife is shot you want to do everything by the book and to the letter of the law. I find it amazing that if it benefits you, you're alright breaking any confidentiality agreement you had with this guy to get him off the street. But I can't get the kid that almost killed the mother of my kids off the street because you went and made a plea deal with him." Danny said bitterly.

"That's not what that was." Erin frowned, "And you know it. I'm glad Linda is okay. And she got justice when Wallace was charged with attempted murder."

Danny shook his head, "But you and I both know the kid who pulled the trigger will never face jail time for it." Danny flipped a page, "This guy didn't do it. We already talked to him. He has a solid alibi. Thanks for nothing. Again."

"Are you going to continue being a jerk about everything lately?" Erin asked.

"Are you going to keep criminals _on_ the streets if it's better politically for you?" Danny countered.

"Both of you stop. This is getting ridiculous. Erin, the guy isn't who we are looking for. Thanks for the tip anyway." Beaz tried to diffuse the siblings argument.

"Whatever Danny." Erin sighed.

She stood ready to leave when Danny spoke, "Did you care? I know you were upset at first but once we started working the case. Did you care that it was Linda in that hospital bed and not just some random woman? That is was my wife. Your nephews mother."

"Of course I cared Danny. That's why I gave Curtis the deal. To find out who was responsible." Erin said.

"Curtis pulled the trigger. Admitted to it. Would have done a nice long sentence. And you wanted a better conviction so we went after Wallace." Danny said.

"Think what you want Danny. But you know I love Linda. She's been a sister to me since before you two were even engaged." Erin felt hurt that Danny could think she was so cold. Erin watched Danny shake his head at her and turn away. She walked out of the precinct without another word. Danny watched his sister go feeling defeated. He knew he sounded mean but he couldn't stop it. He was so ticked that the person that shot his wife wasn't behind bars. It just didn't seem fair.

* * *

Danny had been to One-PP multiple times. Some personal and some business so when he was summoned there while getting ready to hunt for a murderer Danny was under the impression it was work related. He didn't expect to get an ear full from his father.

"You actually asked your sister if she cared about Linda being shot?" Frank barely looked up from his desk full of papers.

"Dad, she acts like it's just anyone who got hurt. It was  _Linda_. _My_ Linda." Danny paced around the room.

"We were all there. We know who it was." Frank said, "And we all care. But she's fine and it's time to get over it. You're a cop. You know how the system works. Trade a small fish for two big ones. It was a good deal." Frank said.

"Not good enough. Do you know she's called me five times since I left this morning. Because she's terrified of being alone. Because she can't sleep without nightmares. She jumped out of her skin when Jack dropped a plate on the floor the other day. She's not fine." Danny stressed.

"Then help her though it. But it happens. And it's horrible that it happened to Linda but she'll survive. Kent and his wife weren't so lucky." Frank looked up at Danny, "If you need more time off to be home with her then take it. But don't target your sister with your frustration just because you can."

"So Erin runs to you and tattles. Just like when we were kids." Danny shook his head.

"At least when you were kids your mother could get you two to play nice." Frank smiled.

"I don't need to be home with her. I need her to feel safe. And I can't make her feel safe with that jerk running around with no consequence of his actions." Danny tried to explain.

"She's a Reagan. She can buck up and move on like every one of us did when we got shot. She's fine. She'll get over it." Frank insisted.

"Yeah well, she's a Reagan by choice. It's not the same." Danny defended his wife.

"No it's not. But she had to know when she married you that one day she might be caught in the cross fire. As horrible as it is, that's what the risk is. You had to have known that too." Frank adjusted his glasses to read more on the file Danny had brought over.

"I never expected to not be able to protect my own wife." Danny sat in one of the chairs next to Frank's desk.

"Reagan's don't admit defeat. We move on from tragedy and do better next time." Frank told Danny.

"So that's it. That's your sage advice for me? Tell her to suck it up and move on?" Danny asked.

"Maybe she needs to talk to someone." Frank said, "Did they do a psychological evaluation?" He asked.

"Yeah. Linda has an appointment next week." Danny said.

"Maybe that's all she needs. A non-cop to tell her to move on." Frank handed Danny back the file, "I just think you're taking this too personally."

"Too personally? My wife was almost killed." Danny sighed.

"Because Curtis was manipulated into killing Hector. And he shot Linda on accident." Frank explained.

Danny shook his head, "Accident? That's how he got off. Because Linda was an accident." Danny frowned, "Got it. I'll let her know that's what you and Erin think." Danny was pissed. Accident. His wife nearly dying was being called an accident. Such a benign word for such a horrific thing.

"Danny. Take a few more days off." Frank said.

"I'm fine. I'd like to find the son of a bitch that killed a family. If I cant get justice for my own, I might as well find some for someone else." Danny told his father.

"It wasn't a suggestion." Frank looked at Danny sternly, "It was an order, Detective."

Danny bit his tongue so as not to fire back at his father and mouth off, "Yes Sir."

"I'll take your shield and gun." Frank said, "I'll give it back when I see that you're fit to have them." Frank wasn't going to deal with Danny having a tantrum. He felt that he and Erin did what was right for everyone and if Danny was going to act out because he didn't like it, then Frank would treat him like the toddler he felt Danny was acting like.

"Yes Sir." Danny took his shield and gun off placing them on Frank's desk. His face was red with anger.

"You're dismissed." Frank put them both in his drawer and went back to the file on his desk.

Danny had to restrain himself from stomping out of the room and slamming the door behind him. How dare his father treat him like a child! How dare he act like Linda being shot was nothing! Just because they got Wallace didn't mean anything to Danny or Linda. Danny wished he could go back in time and keep his wife from being hurt. Then this wouldn't be happening. He wouldn't be fighting with his family. He wouldn't be without his shield and gun. None of this would have happened. Danny didn't know it at the time but getting the few extra days home would be good for him and Linda. However, things would get worse long before they got better.

 


	4. Chapter 4

To say Danny was in a bad mood would be putting it lightly. Danny was pissed. He had no gun or shield because his father took them. Frank acted like Danny was a small child. Like Danny wasn't fit for duty because he was concerned about his wife. Danny just didn't understand how Frank could brush this off like it was nothing. Yes, his family had been concerned and helped with the boys when Linda was in the hospital but now that she was out they acted like everything was normal when in reality it was far from a normal situation. Normal would mean his wife could sleep at night. Normal was not having nightmares of her dying. Normal wasn't Linda being terrified of every little noise in the house at night and practically begging Danny to sleep with a loaded weapon at his side. Normal was anything but what his wife felt at the moment. And Danny Reagan would do anything, even if it meant giving up being a cop all together, to make things go back to normal.

Linda was still awake when Danny came home. She heard the door slam shut. From experience she knew he must have had a hard case. Linda pulled on her robe and walked downstairs to see her husband standing in the kitchen sipping a beer.

"You okay?" She asked.

Danny walked over to her, "I'm good." He said kissing the side of her head, "You sleep at all?" He asked.

"No. Couldn't sleep." Linda picked at her nails, "Want to talk about it?" Danny tossed the beer bottle in the recycling bin. That's when Linda noticed his gun wasn't on his belt, "You're on modified duty?" She asked.

"Dad took my shield and gun. Said he doesn't think I'm ready to return to work." Danny grumbled.

Linda watched him hunt around the fridge for something to eat, "What? How can he do that?" She asked.

"I got into it with Erin and then him. Guess he thinks I need more time off. I don't see things the way he and Erin did so he thinks I shouldn't be at work until I do. I understand why they did what they did. The law is clear and I get it. But it's not fair to you. I don't think they see that." Danny frowned.

Linda wrapped her arms around herself feeling guilty. Now not only was she having nightmares and unable to sleep, Danny was having nightmares and now her husband being punished at work. All because she got shot. Linda looked up at Danny, "I'm sorry." She whispered.

Danny walked over to her, "It's not your fault." He cupped her cheek with one hand, "You did nothing wrong." 

"Then why do I feel like this is all my fault?" Linda hated that she felt a tear slip out. She felt so weak and pathetic lately. She just wanted things to go back to how they were before.

"It's not. I promise." Danny held his wife close, "Why don't we just go to bed? We can figure things out in the morning." Linda nodded her head, "Okay." Danny double checked the locks and turned the lights out downstairs before guiding Linda to their room. That night he barely slept. He held his wife close promising her none of this was her fault. He didn't realize she didn't believe him. Danny hoped they'd get through this. He wasn't sure how much more he or Linda could take. Everything was spinning and no matter how hard he tried Danny couldn't seem to get a grip on it. All he knew was that he was going to do whatever Linda needed him to do, to make her feel safe once again.

* * *

The following morning Linda had a meeting with the psychologist from the hospital.

Linda walked into Dr. Bennet's office.

"Hi." Linda said meekly.

"Linda. Nice to see you again." Dr. Bennet smiled, "How are you?"

"Fine I guess." Linda sat down on the couch.

"No Danny today?" Dr. Bennet asked.

Linda shook her head, "No. He's home.  told him I was fine by myself."

Dr. Bennet wrote on her notepad, "Are you sleeping?"

"No. He's not either. It's like this whole thing messed everything up." Linda took a deep breath, "He can't return to work until Frank see's that Danny's fit for duty. All because of me. Because I got shot. Because I can't sleep. Because I'm scared. I wish everything would just go back to the way it was before."

"You're not at fault for Danny's feelings or his work." Dr. Bennet said.

"But he's my husband. If it wasn't my emotional problems then he wouldn't be going through this." Linda explained.

"It's not your fault. You didn't ask to get shot. Danny seems like a very loving husband. Am I right in that assumption?" She asked.

"Yes. Always." Linda nodded.

"Then that tells me that he's trying to figure out how to best help you. Maybe starting by coming here with you." She suggested.

"He'd never come to therapy." Linda said.

"Why?" Dr. Bennet wrote a few more things down.

"Reagan's don't do therapy or medication or anything like that." She repeated Franks famous saying.

"Well it's time that changes. I really think it would do good for Danny to come." Dr. Bennet insisted.

Linda nodded her head. The rest of her hour was filled with deep breathing exercises and ways to help Linda try and get some rest. When she left she promised she'd ask Danny about coming to the next session. Linda got in her car and drove to one-PP. She had another meeting to go to before going home today. She was going to talk to Frank herself. She refused to let Danny get in trouble because of what happened with her. If she had to swallow her feelings and talk to Frank then that's what she would do. After all, Danny would protect her no matter the cost. She could defend him just as well. Linda loved Danny. She wasn't about to let him be punished for something he had no control over. 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Linda waived to Baker as she walked towards Frank's office, "Is he busy?" She asked.

Baker shook her head, "I don't think so. Let me check. I'll tell him you're here." She opened Frank's door, "Linda Reagan is here to see you." She told Frank.

Frank looked up from his desk, "Oh. Send her in." Linda walked in thanking Baker as she shut the door, "Linda. Everyone okay?" Frank asked.

"You took Danny's shield and gun?" She asked getting straight to the point.

"I think he needs a few more days to get himself together. I know he won't do it willingly so I'm forcing him to do it." Frank explained, "How are you?"

"Explain something to me Frank. Why is it enough to get justice for the Kent's but not for me? Why was it so easy to cut Curtis loose?" She asked, "Do you have any idea how this effects Danny and I? Or the boys? Do you know that neither Danny or I can sleep because we have nightmares. Each of us. Me of dying and him of me dying. Do you know that Sean hasn't woken Danny or I up in years yet the last three nights I've been finding him and Jack asleep in each others rooms taking turns on who is sleeping on the floor. And when I asked them about it, they said they didn't want to wake Danny or I up and Sean's been having bad dreams so Jack offered to sleep in the same room so if Sean is scared, Jack can wake him up and protect him. And we all have to live with the fact that Curtis is still out there." Linda ranted.

"Is that what you think?" Frank calmly asked.

"What am I supposed to think Frank?!" She threw her hands in the air, "First, Curtis is let go. Then you get the guy who put the hit on Hector, and the Kents. Then you take Danny's shield and gun away because he stood up for me. Do you really expect everything to go back to normal?" She asked, "Nothing is normal anymore."

"Linda. I love you. And Danny. And Jack and Sean." Frank said, "I'm sorry if you think I'm being harsh. But Danny can't bring personal problems to work."

"It's not personal Frank! I was shot." She argued.

"And if he's thinking about you and worrying about you it puts him at risk of being shot or killed because he's not focused!" Frank bellowed.

Linda stopped pacing. She hadn't thought of it that way, "He needs to work." She said.

"And he will. When he stops worrying about you." Frank moved from behind his desk, "I understand that you went through something traumatic. It comes with the territory of being in a family of cops. But you have to get over this. You have to do whatever you need to do so that he can focus at work and come home to you each night." Frank put his hand on Linda's shoulder, "If you need to see someone and talk to them then do that. But you have to be okay so Danny can be okay."

Linda felt even more guilty than she had before. Was this all really her fault? Was Danny not able to work because of her? Linda bit her bottom lip and nodded her head, "I'll make sure he's focused." She said.

"You have a whole family here if you need us." Frank said.

"No Frank. I don't. If I did you would be supporting me, not telling me to dust off the dirt and carry on." She grabbed her purse from where she'd put it down earlier.

"Well that's what you need to do. You're fine. So it's time to move past it. The person that orchestrated everything is in federal lockup. And the only way we could do that was to give Curtis a deal. He didn't get off scott-free. He is being closely watched." Frank explained.

Linda shook her head, "That's not enough."

"Well it's going to have to be." Frank said, "Because that's the deal we made. We can't  always go after the pawns. Not in the drug war. We have to get the bigger fish and if we let a small fish go to catch two big ones that's good police work."

"And what happens to the victims of the small fish. They aren't as important as the victims of the bigger ones?" Linda asked.

"The smaller the fish the smaller the victim or the crime." Frank told her.

"So me almost dying is a small crime? A bad day for me? An inconvenience?" She asked.

"That's not what I'm saying." Frank tried to pull his foot from his mouth.

"Sounds like it to me." Linda huffed. Linda left Frank's office even more upset than when she entered. Now not only did she feel bad that Danny couldn't sleep. She felt guilty that he couldn't work. Linda just wanted everything back to normal again. She hated that everything in her life was so upside down.

* * *

Danny was sitting on the computer at home trying to find ways to help his wife cope when she walked through the front door, "How was your appointment?" He asked, "Ran later than I thought." He said.

"It was okay. She wants to see us both though." Linda told him, "Sorry I'm late. I went to see Frank." Linda sat down in the chair beside Danny.

"You what? Linda, why'd you do that?" Danny sighed. He didn't want to stress her out even more. She didn't need more problems at the moment. Danny didn't want Linda involved in his work problems with his father. Not when she didn't understand like a cop would.

Linda looked confused. Wasn't it obvious? She went to Frank to defend Danny, "Because Danny. It's not fair. You don't deserve to be treated like that. You don't deserve to be put off duty because you don't like what he did." Linda explained.

"I didn't ask you for help." Danny said, clearly annoyed with his wife, "I didn't want you to get involved in this Linda. It's a delicate situation. And now I've got to go back to him and undo everything you think you just did." Danny didn't want to have to go back to his father and talk to him because Linda did. He didn't want to deal with Frank's attitude that he was right and Danny was wrong, "Now I have to go apologize because you thought talking to him was a good idea."

"I'm trying to help." Linda protested.

"Thanks but you're not helping. You're just making things worse." Danny frowned, "Just stop trying to help and worry about yourself. Stop worrying about me. I'm fine. I can handle my father."

Linda sighed, "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to make things worse."

Danny looked over at Linda who was visibly upset. He took her hand in his, kissing the back of it, "It's fine. I'll take care of it." Danny got up from the table, "It's fine." He kissed his wife's lips, "Don't worry about it. I'm not mad at you. I'm just mad at everything." He closed the laptop, "I'll be back." He said grabbing his coat, wallet and keys.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"His office. Maybe I can fix this. I'm not really going to make things worse anyway." Danny said, "I'll be back in a little bit." He kissed her again, "Why don't you try and sleep while the boys are still in school?" Danny suggested knowing sleep didn't come easy for either of them lately.

Linda watched Danny leave not sure what to do now. Every time she did something it seemed to be the wrong thing. Linda wiped her eyes. Everything was wrong and she had no idea how to make it right.

 


	6. Chapter 6

When Danny left to talk to his father he never imagined what he would find when he returned home that Friday night. When Danny got there he was told Frank wasn't available. A cop had been injured on duty and he was en route to the hospital. Danny left his father a message and drove around for a few hours before returning home. He didn't know how to help Linda. He wished he had the answers.

The first thing Danny noticed upon coming home was how quiet the house was. The boys should have been home arguing over who ate the last slice of pizza or who got to be player one but there was none of that. Danny walked upstairs wondering if they were being quiet on account of Linda, hopefully, sleeping. Their bedrooms were empty when he checked them. He set off to his next suspicion. His own bedroom.

Danny walked in to see Linda curled up in their bed. She was buried under the covers facing away from him, "Where are the boys?" Danny asked.

"I called Henry and asked if he could take them for the night. I told him I haven't been able to sleep and he said it was no problem. They could stay the weekend if it would help me get some rest." Linda said.

Danny looked over at his wife. Her voice was shaky and she didn't even look at him. Danny sat on the edge of the bed, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." Linda lied. She didn't want to upset Danny any more than he already was.

"Linda." Danny put his hand on her shoulder.

"Please don't. Okay. Just don't Danny." Linda started to cry, "Just go away." 

"Honey, talk to me. Please. What's wrong?" Danny refused to move. Not when she was this upset over something. 

Linda covered her face with her hands, "I can't do this anymore. I can't do it." She cried harder, "I can't."

"Can't do what?" Danny probed. He wasn't sure what she was talking about.

"Did you talk to Frank?" She asked in tears.

Danny shook his head, "He wasn't there. But that's not a big deal. Tell me what's wrong. What can't you do?" Danny knew something big had to be wrong for Linda to start sobbing the second he asked her a simple question.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't see it anymore. I can't put you through this anymore. I can't put the boys through this anymore. I can't keep causing problems with the family anymore." She shook her head, "If this didn't happen we wouldn't have any problems with Frank or the family or with each other right now. And if I had died then it would have been the end of it. There would be no fighting, no loss of sleep, no hurting each other. Maybe that would have been better?" She barely whispered her question. Her brain had been running in multiple directions. The loss of sleep and stress were taking it's toll on her. Emotionally, psychologically and physically. Linda didn't know how to fix things. She just knew they needed to be fixed. She knew that if she didn't figure out a solution to the problem things would just get worse.

Danny's jaw dropped, "Linda. That's not true baby." He tried to hug her close but she shrugged him off, "None of this is your fault."

"Yes it is! Even Frank said so. He said that you can't work because you're focused on me and that could get you killed. So if I had just died that day, then you wouldn't have me to focus on instead of work." She tried to reason, "You wouldn't be fighting with Frank. Erin wouldn't be so nonchalant about everything. And Curtis would have been convicted. He'd have done jail time and you'd have at least gotten justice that way."

"No. Linda. No." Danny watched helplessly as his wife spiraled downward, "Without you I'd be so lost. Honey, I need you. The boys need you. You are so loved." Danny scooted closer to her as she curled into a tight ball.

"I know you love me and I know the boys love me. But I thought I at least had the family behind me as well. And I don't. I'm alone in this." Linda wiped her eyes.

"You are never alone. I promise." Danny said.

"You barely touch me. And when you do it's as if I'm going to break. The boys are afraid to hug me." Linda shook her head, "Do you realize that every time I try to help you or I though this I just screw it up? I make it so much worse." Linda said, "I wish I'd died. Then you wouldn't be going through all this. You'd be back at work and things would be normal."

"Don't say that. Please don't say that. If you weren't here I don't know what I'd do. Linda, I love you. I'm sorry if I ade you feel like you were at fault for any of this. It's not your fault. You didn't ask for any of it to happen to you. You didn't plan or ask to get shot." Danny said, "This ins't your fault. From you getting shot to me losig my shield. None of it is your fault." Danny promised her, "I love you. I love you so much. I don't know how to help you. I don't want to hurt you. I'm not touching you because I'm scared you won't tell me if I hurt you because you want to be strong. Dad being the way he's been isn't your fault. It's his. And you shouldn't have to deal with that. You deserve better than someone who hurt you walking away from it." Danny said.

Linda turned onto her back, "It's all my fault though." She looked up at Danny.

"Honey, none of this is your fault. You are completely innocent in everything. You didn't do anything wrong." Danny said.

"You're  _so_ mad at me. Frank is mad at me. Erin is mad at me. Frank and Erin are mad at you." Linda cried, "I just want it to end. I want things to be normal." 

"Ending it all isn't a good option." Danny countered, "Please listen to me when I say, if you weren't here I don't know how I'd carry on. I would do what I had to for our sons but I don't know how I'd wake up every morning and not want to die to be with you. Linda, I love you. I love you more than anyone or anything in the world. You are the other half of me. And there is nothing I won't do for you. Giving up my shield and gun until my dad cools off isn't a big deal. It pisses me off and irritates me but I'll get over it. I could never get over losing you."

"Danny I don't know what to do." Linda admitted, "And I'm so scared. This is all I've been able to think about. How to do it. How much better off you'd be." She rubbed her wrist with her other thumb.

Danny took her hands in his, "I vowed to protect you. And that's what I'll do. Even if I have to protect you from yourself." Danny said honestly.

"I'm scared." Linda's voice cracked as she spoke, "I'm scared he will come back, scared I'll die, scared to live, I'm so scared of everything."

Danny put his arms around his wife, "It's okay. I'll do anything I can to protect you and keep you safe. I promise." Danny rubbed his hand up and down her back soothingly.

"You shouldn't have to put up with this." She gestured to herself, "You shouldn't have to deal with a crazy wife."

"My wife isn't crazy. She went through a traumatic experience and has a million feelings at once." Danny kissed her cheek.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She apologized over and over. She didn't seem to understand that she'd done nothing at all wrong.

Danny held his wife tightly, "This isn't your fault." He whispered, "It's not your fault. I love you ." He softly tried to calm her down.

After an hour of holding Linda while she cried Danny finally felt her body start to wear out. She yawned and closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry. So sorry." She sniffled.

"Not your fault." Danny repeated, "I love you." He kissed her cheek. Danny watched Linda's body finally give out from exhaustion of sobbing leaving him holding his sleeping wife in his arms. Danny shifted them slightly so he could wrap his arms around her waist and hold her close. Danny didn't know what else to do. She said she wanted to die. She has told him she thought about suicide. She told Danny she couldn't go on any longer. Danny wasn't sure what he could do to help his wife but until this was resolved maybe Frank was right. Maybe Danny  _did_ need a few more days off to help Linda through this.


	7. Chapter 7

The following morning Danny was out of bed long before Linda. He didn't know how to help her. But he did know someone who could help him, help her. He called Dr. Bennet and told her what Linda had said. Dr. Bennet suggested a Saturday appointment with both of them. Danny wasn't a big fan of therapy but if that's what Linda needed from him, that's what he'd do. He put a hot cup of coffee on Linda's bedside table for her, "Hey babe." He kissed her cheek gently, "I'm sorry to wake you." He said softly.

Linda's eyes fluttered open, "What's wrong?" She assumed Danny was waking her because something happened.

"Morning." He smiled, "Nothing is wrong. We have an appointment with Dr. Bennet and I don't want you to have to rush to get ready to go. So here's some coffee, I'm making breakfast, and when you're ready we'll head to her office." Danny ran his fingertips up and down Linda's arm.

"It's Saturday." Linda tried to recall her next appointment, "I don't have an appointment today."

"I called her and set one up." Danny said, "I think we need it."

Linda heard the uncertainty in her husband's voice, "Okay." She nodded her head, "I'll get up." She sat up in bed. If Danny was willing to go to therapy, there must be a problem. Linda never in her life dreamed he'd be willing to go.

After breakfast the two of them arrived at Dr. Bennet's office, hand in hand. Linda took a seat on the couch with Danny beside her.

"Good morning." Dr. Bennet smiled, "So Danny tells me it was a tough night last night. How are you feeling this morning, Linda?" She asked.

Linda took a deep breath, "Nothing has really changed overnight." 

"Do you want to kill yourself?" Dr. Bennet asked bluntly.

"I think....that if I wasn't here...things wouldn't be so bad." Linda fidgeted with her fingers, "If I had died, it would have hurt everyone but they'd be able to get over it. There wouldn't be all this fighting between the family and Danny and I and no one would be scared because the shooter would be in jail."

"But where would that leave Danny and your sons?" Dr. Bennet asked.

"I know it would hurt them....They'd be able to get over it so much easier though." Linda tried to explain her thoughts.

"You say you and Danny are fighting. Is it because of the shooting or something else?" Dr. Bennet asked.

"I went to talk to Danny's father. Frank had Danny pulled from duty and I felt that wasn't fair to do. He was pulled because Danny stood up for me and lashed out at Frank." Linda said.

"And you didn't want her to do that? Or did it cause more problems between you and your dad?" Dr. Bennet asked Danny.

Danny sighed, "I didn't want her to have to listen to him. I didn't want her to have to hear him blow this off like it's nothing because he got two gang heads off the street instead of the kid who pulled the trigger. Linda, honey, I wasn't mad that you went to see him. I didn't mean my words that way." Danny tried to explain, "I didn't want you to have to deal with him. Not now. Not the way he's been acting about all this. You don't deserve to have to listen to that."

"You said I made things worse. That you had to apologize for what I said to him. That you didn't want me involved." Linda reminded him.

"I didn't mean it. I was just so mad at him and then you came home and said you were there too." Danny took her hand in his, "I'm sorry I got upset at you. I didn't mean to make things worse for you or make you feel bad."

"Then what did you mean?" Dr. Bennet interrupted.

"I just don't want you to have to listen to him. He's so...." Danny paused to think of the right words, "He's so apathetic about this whole thing. It's like it's not a big deal because you aren't more severely hurt or worse." Danny swallowed the lump in his throat, "I don't want you to hurt more than you do already. Not because of him. Not because he can't see how this is effecting you, us, the kids. Linda, I don't have a lot of fears. Not much can scare me. But seeing you, in that hospital bed with a tube in your throat and a machine breathing for you, that scared me. Knowing you still had a bullet in your back and couldn't' get it out, scared me. Watching you be wheeled into surgery, on that bloody gurney, scared me. I can't lose you Linda. I know that's selfish but I can't. You and the boys are my whole world and there's no way to get a part of that back if I lose it." Danny explained, "I was mad at my father. Not you."

"Why would she make things worse? To the point of you apologizing for her?" Dr. Bennet asked.

"Linda, I'm scared. Of losing you. Of you being hurt. It's a delicate situation with him. He's my dad, but also the PC. He can keep me from work as long as he wants. The only way I'm going to get my shield and gun back is if I play his stupid game. It's like chess with him." Danny said, "The pawns have to move a certain way to get to checkmate and you talking to him was unexpected. It was like moving the queen and letting him take two pieces. He's not the easiest person to handle. I don't want you hurt because of him." Danny said.

"So you were trying to protect her?" Dr. Bennet asked jotting down notes in her notebook.

"I'm always trying to protect Linda. Even if I wasn't a cop. That's my job as her husband. To keep her safe. And I know I've recently failed at that but I swear I'll never ever let anyone hurt you again. Not some kid with a gun and not my father. You don't deserve to listen to him talk the way he's been talking about this." Danny said.

Linda nodded her head, "So you don't hate me?" She asked.

"Hate you?" Danny's jaw almost fell to the ground, "I could never hate you." Danny wrapped his arms around Linda who was now crying, "I love you so much. You and those boys are the only thing good in my life. I love you Linda. I could never ever hate you." Danny hugged her tight. He didn't know where they'd go from here, but he knew he had to fix things. Not just for his sake but for his wife too. Danny Reagan was determined to do whatever it took for his wife to feel safe and loved.


	8. Chapter 8

Linda stood in the mirror with her phone camera flipped so she could see her back in the bathroom mirror. She hated the scars that were left there. Two reminders of almost dying. Two reminders of how she almost lost her life due to a stupid kid who still isn't behind bars.

"Babe?" Danny called out. She'd told him she wanted to take a hot shower when they got home from the therapists office. She'd been upstairs for over an hour now. He was starting to get slightly worried. Danny tapped on the open bathroom door, "You alright?" He poked his head in to see Linda put her shirt down.

"Yeah. I'm fine." She said, "Just making sure everything looks okay." 

Danny nodded his head. He watched as she put a sweatshirt on, tugging it down as if she was trying to bury herself in layers. Danny walked over to her, "Do you want me to take a look?" He asked, "I can see better than you can."

Linda quickly shook her head, "No. It's fine. You don't have to look at it." Linda hated that she felt her body was ugly. It was tainted. She'd always been proud of the way she looked. Even when pregnant. She didn't mind the stretch marks or the birthmark she had on her right thigh. Linda knew she wasn't pretty like a supermodel but she'd always loved the body she had. Now she had two disgusting marks on her back. They'd always be there. She wouldn't be able to look at them with fondness like she could with the c-section scars from Sean's birth. She'd always have two ugly scars on her back that would forever remind her of the day she almost died. Danny didn't need to see them. He didn't need to feel the rough skin there. Or be constantly reminded that he almost lost her. No. Linda wasn't going to force Danny to have a visual reminder of that. As much as he held her hand or cuddled with her in bed, Danny's hands stayed away from her back since she'd been home. The one time he accidentally touched the gauze that was over her injury he flinched his hand away as if it burned him.

Danny leaned against the bathroom counter as Linda brushed her hair, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah." She kissed his lips hoping that would make him feel better.

"If you're sure." He said still not sure why she wouldn't let him look at her. If something was bothering her, she'd never been shy with him about it. As far as Danny could recall, she'd never hidden her body from him. He wondered if he was making her uncomfortable or if there was another reason for it. In any case he wanted her to know that as long as she was okay, he was okay.

"I'm sure." Linda was about to suggest something for them to do for the day when the doorbell rang, "You expecting anyone?" She asked Danny. She briefly wondered if it was Frank here to yell at both of them.

Danny shook his head, "No." 

"Want to grab the laundry basket and bring it downstairs?" Linda asked, "I'll get the door. I think it's a good laundry day. Plus Jack and Sean need their football uniforms washed for practice next week." She said. 

Linda walked downstairs to open the front door while Danny carried the boys laundry and his and Linda's down to the basement.

Linda opened the front door. Never in her life would she have expected the young man who was standing there.

"Curtis?!" She froze in her place.

"Nurse Reagan. Here. These are for you." Curtis was standing outside in the middle of the day, holding flowers in his hands, "I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure you're alright." He took a step towards her.

"Danny!" Linda couldn't move. Her fear cemented her feet to the ground, "Danny!" She yelled again.

"Please nurse Reagan. I'm sorry. I just wanted to say that." Curtis placed the flowers on the step.

Danny ran up the stairs after hearing the second time Linda called for him. He could tell something was 'off' about the way she yelled but it was hard to hear in the basement, "Linda?" He said as he walked up the steps. Danny saw her standing by the door practically shaking in fear, "Linda, what's..." Danny's words dropped as he saw Curtis standing there, "Get away from her!" He pushed himself between Linda and the open door, "What are you doing here Curtis?! How did you find us?!" He demanded.

"I-I-I'm sorry. I just wanted to apologize. Th-those are for nurse Reagan. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Curtis put his hands in the air. He was terrified of Danny.

"Get the Hell out of here Curtis! You come near my wife, my family, my home ever again and I swear I'll lock your ass up. Get away!" Danny yelled at him. Danny slammed the front door shut. He took a few deep breaths so as not to run after Curtis and do something stupid. Linda's sniffling caught his attention, "Are you okay?" He turned to find Linda, white as a ghost, with her arms wrapped around herself, "Linda?" he asked, "Hey." Linda was frozen. She couldn't move. She didn't even register Danny talking to her until he touched cheek, "Linda?"

Linda shook her head as if she was waking up from the nightmare that played in her mind, "That was Curtis." She took a deep unsteady breath, "How did he find me? He's going to hurt me. He can't be here." Linda felt like she couldn't breathe. She couldn't get enough air in. Her chest started to hurt and her fingertips were numb. She felt hot and clammy. Linda tried to steady herself but everything felt like it was spinning around. She was getting dizzier as the seconds went by, "I can't breathe." She frantically tried to get enough air into her lungs. Her heart beat faster and faster, louder and louder, "I can't breathe." Linda started shaking in fear.

Danny saw her stumble and put an arm around her waist to catch her, "It's okay. It's okay. You're alright. Linda. You're okay. Breathe with me."

"I can't. I can't breathe. I think I'm having a heart attack or something." Linda panicked.

"No. It's not a heart attack." Danny said softly, "Just breathe with me. Okay?" He put her hand to his chest so she could feel it rise and fall. Danny took some deep breathes trying to get her to regulate her breathing, "C'mon baby, c'mon. Just breathe with me. You're okay. You're safe. I've got you. I've got you." Danny held her tight, "Just breathe. It's alright." When he felt her falter a second time Danny lowed them both to the floor, "Let's sit down." He pulled her to him, "I've got you. It's alright. I got you. You're safe. You're safe. We're just gonna sit here and breathe." Danny pressed light kissed to the top of her head doing anything he could to help her through the panic attack, "Close your eyes." He softly instructed her, "Close your eyes and feel me breathe. Just breathe with me." Danny watched as Linda tried to shut her eyes tight, "It's okay." He whispered, "Good. Good job. Keep breathing." He praised as he felt her evening out her breathing, "Good job Linda. Just like that." After what seemed like hours Linda was able to take a few deep breathes, "Are you alright?" Danny asked her.

"I think I'm okay." She wiped the tears from her eyes. She hadn't even known she was crying through the whole thing.

Danny nodded his head, "Okay. Good." He spoke calmly in case she started to panic again, "Do you want to sit here for a few more minutes or move off the floor?" He asked her before shifting. He wanted to make sure he didn't overwhelm her with too many things happening at once. First he needed her calm, then he needed her to talk to him.

"This is fine." She kept her eyes closed. Linda put her head on Danny's chest, "Please don't let him hurt me." She begged still not quite back to herself.

"Never again. He won't hurt you. I'm here. You're always safe with me. Always." Danny kissed Linda's forehead, "I've got you."

Linda nodded her head, "Okay." She sniffled. Linda clung to Danny tightly. When she was finally ready to move she kept Danny in her eyesight for the whole night. Danny wasn't any better. When the washer buzzed that the laundry was done he walked her downstairs to the basement to switch it over without saying a word. Linda barely ate dinner, unable to get her mind to quiet down. She hated everything about this. She hated that she felt unsafe in her own home. She knew Danny would lay his life down for her, that he would protect her at any cost. But she felt vulnerable knowing Curtis knew where she lived. She felt scared that it just might come down to Danny's life or hers.

* * *

Linda didn't mind Sunday dinner. Her own family wasn't around very much so Sunday dinners with her in-laws was always a nice tradition. Danny had been brought up with it and he wanted the boys to be brought up the same way. Linda enjoyed the banter between siblings and the conversation around the table. Today was different. Today she sat closer to Danny than usual. With his arm around the back of her chair rubbing her shoulder gently. Jack and Sean were excited to see their parents. They said they had a great time sleeping over and that Henry even let them put a tent up in the sun room to camp out in. He even made a small fire in the fire pit to make them smores and roasted hot dogs for dinner Saturday night.

Linda pushed her food around her plate while the conversation at the table remained to a minimal. No one seemed to want to talk. That was until Henry spoke.

"What's with everyone? Why so quiet today?" Henry asked.

"Nothing Pop." Danny shook his head, "Nothing to talk about I guess."

"Well when you have nothing to nice to say, not talking is the better option." Erin said.

"You got something you want to say?" Danny looked up at her.

Erin took a sip of her wine, "Why don't you just say what's on your mind?" She countered.

"You already know what's on my mind and you don't like it or agree." Danny said.

"Because you're wrong. And you know you're wrong. You know the law just as well as anyone else. It was a good deal. So stop pouting and deal with it already." Erin sighed.

"It was a crappy deal and you have no regard for how it effected Linda or I. Or your nephews." Danny defended his family.

"What are you two talking about?" Jack dared to ask.

"Jack, Sean. Kitchen. Now." Linda said not wanting them to hear Danny and Erin argue about her.

"Oh c'mon! Why do we miss all the good stuff?" Sean whined.

"Now, boys." Danny ordered.

"I'll eat with you." Nicky offered not wanting to get in the middle of her uncle and mother fighting.

Once the kitchen door was shut Henry looked at his grandchildren, "Care to enlighten the rest of us?" He asked.

"Yeah. Erin thinks that this kid that shot Linda getting off with no jail time is okay. She thinks that it's fine because we got two bigger thugs off the street so it's okay to let this one go. And not just Erin thinks that. Dad does too." Danny told Henry.

"Francis." Henry looked across the table, "What's he talking about?"

"There was a deal with the DA's office. If Curtis testified and ratted out his Hunt and Wallace then he wouldn't do jail time." Erin explained, "It was a good deal." She defended her actions.

"It was crappy deal!" Danny got angry, "How is that justice, Erin? For Linda  _or_ Hector?" 

"Because we got the guy that put the hit on Hector." Erin said.

"And that's what? Justice, maybe, for Hector. Linda's what? Collateral damage?" Danny asked.

"It was a good deal. And it got justice for Chief Kent as well." Frank said, "Now both of you stop fighting about it. It's done and over with."

Linda shook her head, "Over with?" She asked aghast at Frank's words, "If it was over I'd sleep at night. Danny would sleep at night. I wouldn't find Jack sleeping next to Sean because Sean can't sleep at night. I wouldn't be having a panic attack because Curtis showed up at my front door yesterday. I wouldn't be scared to go anywhere that Danny's not because he's the only one who seems to want to make me feel safe. If this was over with I wouldn't feel like I'd have been better off dead than alive." Linda wiped a tear from her eye. She refused to cry. Not now. Not in front of Frank and Erin. She wouldn't give them that satisfaction.

"What do you mean Curtis showed up at the house?" Jamie finally piped up.

"He stopped by. Thought he could terrorize my wife a little more." Danny said.

"Did he try to hurt you?" Frank asked.

"And now you care? Because when you took Danny's gun and shield it was because he defended me" Linda retorted.

"No I took it because he needs to focus on work and not you to stay safe." Frank said.

"What happened with Curtis?" Jamie asked.

"Dad, you took it because you didn't like what I had to say." Danny dismissed him.

"No! I took it because I don't want another kid shot! I don't need to lose you because you're not focused on work." Frank yelled.

"But Linda doesn't matter as much? You know when Erin was shot in that court room you went above and beyond to nail that guy to the wall. And for the cops that were behind Joe's death Why not Linda?" Danny asked.

"That's enough!" Henry stood, "I'm not going to listen to you all bicker back and forth to figure out which family member is more important. And I won't listen to anyone taint Joe's death." Henry looked around the table, "Fair deal or not, that kid has no business being around Linda. If the weasel got a deal then he needs to run with his tail between his legs. And shame on you, Francis, for letting him get away with hurting Linda. If it wasn't for her, I'd be dead right now. The DA did no service in this." Henry stated.

"We made a good deal to get..." Erin started to say.

"To get nothing! You have family across the table dealing with what could have been a tragedy. And they are dealing with it the best they can. But without the support of their family, without feeling love from the ones that should care the most, they might as well be alone. And that's _not_ what this family does." Henry said,"As long as I'm still here we will continue to do what we can to help each other through the hard times and celebrate the good times. Erin, you have your job. But you have no idea what it's like for a cop to almost lose a family member and watch a the criminal responsible walk free. Linda, you tell me anything you need. Night or day. Danny is your husband and that makes you family. Not to mention the fact that you saved my life. Anything I can do to help, I'll do it. _No_ questions asked. Jamie, find out what you can about this kid and see what you can do to get a radio car to drive by Danny's house to keep an eye out for him. The second this punk steps foot on the property he can be charged with trespassing. Danny, get back to work. Watch your partner's six and keep your focus. Francis, I'm disappointed in you. Justice for the Kent's because they were your friends and not for your own daughter-in-law?" Henry told everyone what he thought and ordered them to do what he wanted, "Anyone have a problem with it?" He looked around the table.

"You're not PC anymore Pop." Frank said.

"No. But I'm still head of this family. How would you feel if it was Erin in that room that got shot? Or Jamie? Or Danny? Or Jack or Sean? What makes Linda different? Because she's not Reagan blood? Let me tell you a thing or two Francis. Linda is just as much family as anyone else at this table. And by God I will not let this family tear apart because some punk kid thinks he got away with hurting one of us." Henry challenged Frank. Henry looked around to see if anyone else was going to speak before sitting down.

"Thank you." Linda said to him. For the first time she felt that someone besides her and Danny were able to understand just how traumatic everything was. For the first time since the hospital she felt as if one of the Reagan's actually cared what she was going through. She didn't want to fight anymore. Linda just wanted everything back to normal. She prayed that Henry's words made it through to Frank and Erin. 

 


	9. Chapter 9

Monday morning found Linda at home alone. Frank had reinstated Danny back at work first thing in the morning and Jack and Sean were at school. Linda tried cleaning to take her mind off things. Outside sat a radio car in case Linda needed them. Linda felt some sort of comfort after Sunday dinner. Henry put everyone in their place and wouldn't let up until they did as told. Even Frank seemed to take his words to heart. Linda was washing dishes when the mail truck came by. She saw out the front window they'd gotten a package in the mail. It wasn't entirely unusual so Linda finished her dishes before getting it from the front step.

Linda threw the few pieces of junk mail away, put bills on the kitchen counter to go through, then opened the small plain brown box. She looked confused at the contents. Inside was a stuffed teddy bear. No note or card. Just a white and red stuffed bear wearing a nurses outfit. Linda double checked the name on the box. Sure enough it was addressed to her. She moved the bear around wondering if the note settled on the bottom of the box but found nothing. Linda put the box aside and forgot about it for the rest of the day. That was until Danny came home.

"I'm home!" He called as he opened the front door. Linda practically flew into his arms, "You alright?" He asked. She hadn't greeted him like this since he called saying he was injured but coming home so she didn't need to go to the hospital.

"Just missed you." Linda promised, "How was your day?"

"Oh the joys of paperwork never get old." He kissed her cheek, "You boys behave?" He asked Jack and Sean who were on the couch watching ESPN.

"Yeah." Sean nodded.

"Whose winning?" Danny asked.

"Rangers." Jack smiled.

"They've been glued to it since they realized the game was on." Linda grinned, "I made you a plate for dinner." She watched him look in the fridge for something to eat.

"Thanks." Danny took the plate out and put it in the microwave, "What's this?" He peeked in the box.

"Someone sent that in the mail today. I have no idea who it's from though." Linda said, "I meant to call St. Vincent's and see if it came from someone I work with."

Danny inspected the box more carefully, "Did it come from the mail carrier or did someone drop it off?" 

"Mail carrier." Linda said, "Why?" She never suspected anything wrong with it. It was just odd that it had no note or return address.

"Linda, what time did this come?" Danny asked.

"With all the other mail. Danny, what's wrong?" Linda took a step closer.

"I think I know who sent this. I know that handwriting." Danny pointed to Linda's name written on the top in permanent marker.

"Who?" Linda looked over his shoulder.

"Why don't you go sit with the boys?" Danny asked.

"No Danny. Who is it from?" Linda asked.

Danny sighed. He didn't want to scare Linda. But he didn't want to lie to her either, "I think this is Curtis' handwriting." Danny said quietly, "I'm calling the car out front to go circle around and I'll have Beaz come take this to evidence to get it checked out." Danny pulled his phone from his pocket.

"Boys. Go upstairs. Jack you can get the laptop and watch the game on there. Your father and I need to talk." Linda said. Jack and Sean grumbled while they ran upstairs so they didn't miss too much of the game.

Danny pulled out a chair for Linda to sit in while the officers walked around the outside of the house to look for anything suspicions, and another car drove around the neighborhood. Beaz was at the Reagan's house within twenty minutes of Danny calling her.

"Did the regular mail carrier bring this?" Beaz asked as she bagged the box and bear.

"I didn't notice. I saw the truck on the road, and heard the knock at the door. When I looked out the mail was gone and there was a box on the front step." Linda said, "Why is he doing this Danny? Why can't he just leave me alone?"

Danny knelt in front of his wife, "I don't know honey. But I promise you you're safe."

"I'll make sure you've got a car in the area that can be here in ninety seconds or less." Beaz said, "We'll figure this out. In the meantime a restraining order might be needed to keep him from coming around." She suggested.

"We'll get one in the morning." Danny said, "Thanks partner."

Beaz smiled, "Linda, you need anything, you can always call me."

"Thanks Maria." Linda said. She watched Danny walk Beaz out, then lock the front door. Outside Beaz talked to two radio cops where were going to circle the neighborhood for the night in case Curtis came back or tried something else.

"We should try and get some sleep." Danny walked over to his wife. He held out his hand for her to take.

"I don't think I can sleep." Linda frowned, "Why can't he just leave me alone?" She took Danny's hand in hers, "I just want this all to end." 

* * *

Two days later and no contact from Curtis. Linda had gotten the restraining order, which surprisingly Erin was able to help with. All Linda did was mention it to Henry and an hour later Erin showed up at the house with the order in her hands. Her and Linda had a glass of wine wherein Erin apologized for blowing it off. If she thought Curtis was a danger she wouldn't have been so lenient. Linda still wasn't happy with her sister-in-law but was willing to let it go in an effort to work things out between the two of them. Erin could see how Curtis still posed a threat to Linda and how Linda was traumatized by everything.

Linda started back at work. First doing mostly paperwork, then just a few patients a day. Linda liked being able to go back to work. To turn her mind off her own problems and focus on fixing someone else. On saving someone else's life. The scars on her back were fully healed. She still kept them hidden from Danny. The last forty-eight hours had been stressful. The restraining order plus a hard case for him resulted in a not very talkative husband. Linda didn't want to risk Danny seeing her and not liking what he saw. So rubbed every cream she could think of to get rid of scars but none worked. She was now looking into how much it would cost to have them fixed with a plastic surgeon. She knew a few that worked at St. Vincent's. She could talk to them and see what they could do. Linda took an informational pamphlet home with her to read at night. Danny was suppose to be working late so it was the perfect opportunity to do some research.

Danny walked in the house quietly that night. It was past midnight. He knew everyone was asleep in the house because he had talked to Linda a little over an hour ago until she dozed off on the phone with him. That's why he was startled, when he saw Jack downstairs eating a sandwich over the sink.

"What are you doing?" Danny asked.

"I was hungry." Jack said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Is this why we never have bread?" Danny wondered out loud. Between bread and milk they were always picking one of them up at the store.

Jack shrugged his shoulders, "I dunno. Sean had one too. But we don't use dishes so Mom can't get mad. Because there's no dishes in the sink." Jack said.

"Do you know what time it is?" Danny wondered how many nights his teenage boys were up raiding the fridge.

"Time to eat?" Jack said sarcastically.

"Go to bed." Danny smiled. He wiped the counter where Jack left crumbs and walked upstairs. He paused by Jack's room, "Did you brush your teeth again?" He asked.

"Yeah. All set." Jack rolled over in bed, "Night Dad."

"Night Jack." Danny smiled. He peeked in on Sean as well before going to his bedroom. Danny took a quick shower and changed into pajama pants. He pulled the top drawer of the dresser open to find a shirt when he saw a small blue pamphlet on top of the dresser. Danny looked confused when he picked it up and read it. He looked from the pamphlet, that talked about everything from removing scars to breast implants to nose jobs, over to his sleeping wife. Why would she have such a thing? He wondered. Danny pulled a tank top over his head and climbed into bed.

The second the bed shifted Linda was awake, "Danny?" She called out.

"It's okay. Shh. Did I wake you?" He asked.

"Not really. I'm not sleeping very heavily lately." Linda flipped over to face her husband, "Did you close the case?" She asked.

"Yeah. Hopefully the charges will stick." Danny said. He hated that he worked so hard on cases to find evidence and still some of them got away with it.

"Good." She smiled. Linda kissed Danny, "Does this mean you can go in late tomorrow?" 

"I'm not leaving too early in the morning. But we do have another case we caught tonight." Danny said, "You're beautiful." He smiled. Maybe she'd been looking at that pamphlet. Maybe he just hadn't told her enough how much he loved her the way she was. He didn't want his wife to change anything about her body. Especially if it was something just for him.

"I have bags under my eyes, my hair is a mess and I'm half asleep." She smiled, "I don't think beautiful is the right word for that."

"I think it is. You're always beautiful to me." Danny ran his fingers through her hair.

Linda propped herself up on one arm to get a sip of water from the cup she'd brought up before she fell asleep. That's how she spotted the pamphlet on his nightstand, "Why are you reading that?" She asked.

Danny looked over, "Oh...uh. I just saw it on the dresser and was wondering the same thing about you. Look, I know it's been a little while since we've....had a dirty weekend in the city or since we've really done much of anything but it's not you."

"Danny." Linda tried to stop him.

"It's not because I'm not attracted to you. I am. I'm insanely attracted to you." He continued not listening to her.

"Danny." Linda said again feeling more embarrassed as he went on.

"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. And this is pointless." He waived at the pamphlet, "You are sexy, gorgeous, beautiful. You've always been the only woman I have eyes for. The only woman I want to look at." He carried on, "Linda, please don't do this. Don't do this for me. Because this isn't what I want. I want you. You are perfect." 

"That's very sweet. Endearing even. But it's not for a boob job or anything. I wanted to see about getting a few scars removed." She explained.

"Scars from what?" Danny asked. It didn't even register in his mind what she could possibly be talking about.

"The scars on my back." She said softly, "We haven't done anything because I haven't wanted to. And I know that. But I just...I can see them. In the mirror. I can see the two spots where the bullets hit me. I can see the lines from the surgery. I can almost feel it still." She whispered, "We've been through so much. I already know exactly where they are. I can feel them without touching them. I can see them with my eyes closed. I can see the ugliness all the time. I can feel the ugliness all the time." Linda looked down, "I don't want you to see the ugliness too. I don't want you to have that image burned into your mind like it is mine." 

Danny looked at her face. He cupped her cheek and tilted her head up, "Linda. Nothing about you could ever be ugly." Danny said seriously, "Is that why you've been so protective of being touched and changing? Because you think the scars on your back are ugly?" Danny asked.

Linda nodded her head "Well...yeah...I didn't want to make things worse for you." Linda felt ashamed and embarrassed. She didn't intend on Danny finding out this way and now he sounded disappointed in her.

"Linda Reagan. I've seen every part of you. Nothing about you is anything but beautiful. I married you because I love you. I've always loved you. But I was lucky enough to fall in love with the prettiest girl in the school. Who continues to be the prettiest woman I've ever seen." Danny told her, "Those scars aren't ugly. They show how you fought to stay alive for me, Jack and Sean. They aren't there to make you feel ugly. They are just there. I could never think of them or you as ugly. Ever."

"But they  _are_ ugly. It's not like the c-section scars. I see those or the stretch marks and I think back how much I loved being pregnant and how much I love our boys. I see these in the mirror and I hate them. I hate how I look because of them." Linda felt her eyes fill with hot tears. She didn't know how to make Danny understand how bad she felt with these scars.

"Let me see your hand?" He asked changing his tactic a bit. Linda let Danny take her hand in his. Danny put her hand over his left hip. Just above a small tattoo that no one but her saw, "Do you remember when I got shot here?" He asked her.

"Yeah. That was the first time you were shot on duty. I was a mess for days. Scared I was going to lose you." Linda remembered that day clearly. She'd woken up to the phone call that Danny was shot, and was being brought to the ER. Before she had time to get dressed there were cops at her door ready to take her there.

Danny traced her hand over the small black cursive letters that spelled out ** _L-I-N-D-A_** on his body, "You remember me coming home with this and you getting all upset because you said you should never put anyone's name on your body." He asked her. Linda nodded, "And remember me telling you that I wanted to turn this scar into something better. And you were the best thing in my life. That's why it's your name and not anything else. That's why it's just your name. Right here. Embedded in my skin for the rest of my life. I'll forever be yours." Danny kissed her, "You just have to make those scars something else. Don't let the reason the scar is there, define it. Think of something beautiful and let your skin symbolize that instead."

"But it's on my back." She tried to reason, "It's not like I have too many good things that happened on my back." Linda looked confused.

Danny smiled, "I have an idea." He said, "Turn over on your stomach." He instructed.

"What?" Linda asked.

"Just trust me. Turn over on your stomach and take off your shirt." Danny smiled, "Please?" He asked quietly.

Linda would have protested had Danny not said please in that tone. He sounded desperate to make her see what he saw. She'd always trusted him not to hurt her, so she did as requested and pulled her pajama shirt over her head. Linda laid on her stomach with her arms crossed under her head. Danny could clearly see the two scars Linda talking about. Danny trailed his fingers from her shoulder blades to the small of her back and back up again.

"Linda Reagan. You are beautiful." He smiled. Linda felt goosebumps all over her as his fingers gently circled both scars, just barely touching them. She gasped when Danny's lips connected with her back. He gently kissed both wounds before peppering kisses up her spine and over her shoulders, "I don't know how you could possibly think you are anything but amazingly perfect." He murmured against her skin.

"You don't think they look horrific?" She asked.

Danny shook his head, "I think you look amazing." He gently ran his fingers in small circles up and down her back, "I could spend days just staring at your body." Danny's fingers dipped just below the waist band on her pants, "Linda." He leaned down and kissed the back of her bare shoulder, "You are perfect. Every part of you is gorgeous. The scars, the freckles, everything." 

Linda turned slightly to see Danny better, "You promise they don't look ugly?" She asked. She was scared that he really thought they were disgusting but didn't want to upset her.

"Linda." Danny kissed her again, "If I thought they were ugly I wouldn't be doing everything in my power not to ravish you right now." Danny grinned as he saw her blush from head to toe. He always loved being able to do that to her. To watch her skin on her back pink up as her cheeks became hot.

"Really?" Linda asked.

"After all this time, have you not noticed how I look at you?" Danny asked.

Linda thought for a moment. She turned on her side to see Danny better, "Well then. I guess you're right." Danny blinked not knowing what he was right about, "If I need to make the bad memory of these scars into a good one." Linda smiled, "Then I guess you'd better make it good, _Detective_." She flirted.

Danny grinned, " _Just_ good? Oh I'll make it great." He said before pouncing on her. Danny was proud of himself as he heard her laugh out loud. He hadn't heard that sound in so long. It was music to his ears. For the rest of the night Danny showed Linda exactly how beautiful he thought she was, scars and all, over and over again until they both lay tangled up together asleep with no nightmares for the first time since she was shot.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Linda woke up the following morning to Danny already gone for work and the boys gone for school. She vaguely remembered kissing him goodbye as he and the boys left at the same time. Linda was working half a shift today. She didn't need to leave until almost noon to get to work on time. Linda smiled as she found a note from Danny next to her cell phone. She picked her phone up and called him as instructed by his note.

"Morning." Danny smiled seeing his wife's name pop up on his screen.

"Good morning." Linda lay in bed to talk to him.

"I was thinking we could meet for dinner tonight. You don't get off till nine and I'm going to be here through dinner. We'll have to find someone to keep an eye on the boys." Danny said.

"Or they can come to the hospital after school. They can hang out in the doctors lounge." Linda suggested, "That way we don't have to pay a sitter, just make sure they've got money for the subway."

"I'll pick them up and drop them off. Then we can all grab something to eat together." Danny said, "And you can bring them home with you."

Linda nodded, "That works too." Linda listened to Danny shift the phone and talk to Beaz for a moment.

"Babe, I gotta go. We just caught a break. I love you. I'll see you when they get out of school." Danny grabbed his jacket and gun.

"Love you too. Be safe." She ended the call with a smile.

At work, Linda had a few regulars in the ER. A few junkies looking to score some drugs from nurses they thought didn't remember them. As soon as two of NYPD's finest showed up to walk around after an ambulance was rushed their the guys looking to score left quietly. Linda thanked the officers for stopping in. She worked on a few more patients before taking her first break of the day.

"Hey Linda. These flowers just came for you." One of the interns smiled, "Your husband must have done _something_ wrong." She laughed pointing to the large bouquet of flowers with Linda's name on it.

"Thanks Jess." Linda walked over to the flowers to inspect them. This wasn't normal of Danny. He never sent her things like this at work and if he bought her flowers he usually brought it himself. He'd always felt it was more personal that way. Plus he was a cop through and through and he'd always told her 'you never could trust a delivery man alone with his wife'. Linda took a look at the card and she felt a shiver run through her. She knew that handwriting. That was Curtis' handwriting, "Jess! Who dropped this off?"

"Some kid. Why?" She asked.

"What did he look like?" Linda asked her trying to figure out if Curtis was here.

"Skinny young kid. Kept his face down reading something on his phone. Seemed like he was in a rush I didn't really pay attention. Is everything okay?" Jess asked.

"No. No it's not." Linda immediately called Danny. When his phone went to voicemail she called Maria's cell. And when her's went to voicemail as well Linda called Jamie. Jamie told Linda to wait in the nurses lounge where she was out of sight and don't touch the flowers. He was at the hospital, on the phone with Danny, in five minutes.

Jamie handed Linda his cell phone. Apparently Danny had told Jamie the second he saw Linda he wanted to talk to her, "Danny I'm fine. I don't even know if he was here but I know that handwriting is the same as it was on the box."

"Okay. Jamie is going to follow you home and check the house out. I'll be there as soon as I can." Danny said as if he'd already told his little brother what to do.

"Danny I have to work. I have patients." Linda said.

"Linda. He's stalking you." Danny tried to reason.

"Which is why I have a restraining order." Linda reminded him, "Besides, if I'm at the hospital there's security all around and Jamie can be here just as well as he can be at the house."

Danny sighed, "Fine. But be careful please?" He asked. His first thought was that security at the hospital is a joke. A kid was able to sneak a gun in, murder someone and almost kill his wife but he knew she wanted to not be afraid anymore. So he'd make sure his little brother was on top of her until he could get there. Linda handed Jamie back the phone after saying goodbye to her husband, "Kid, you keep your eyes on her at all times." Danny told Jamie, "I mean it Jamie."

"I got it Danny. Nothing's going to happen." Jamie promised. While he was talking to Danny and Linda, Eddie was talking to the intern and trying to see if they'd let her see the security footage. When she mentioned that the person who dropped these off could have been Curtis the security officers were happy to let Eddie watch the tapes.

"We got him." Eddie walked up to Jamie and Linda, "It's Curtis. On the video. He was here. Clearly within the radius of the restraining order. We can arrest him on it." Eddie smiled.

"Is that going to put him in jail?" Linda asked.

"Depends on what he says about it." Jamie said honestly, "It could be anything from a slap on the hand to jail time but seeing as how he's hurt you before and now won't leave you alone he's most likely looking at some time behind bars."

Linda nodded her head, "Jamie, you really don't have to stay here. You can go do whatever you need to. I'm fine. Really." Linda smiled, "Thanks."

"No. I do have to stay here. First, you're my sister-in-law and you're in danger. Two, I'm a cop and keeping people safe is what I do. Three, I'm pretty sure that if I let you out of my eyesight Danny will use me for target practice." Jamie smiled, "I think I'll stay."

"Okay." Linda smiled.

"I'll run his name and see if anything pops up around. A credit card or something he used to buy the flowers or a cab here maybe. I'll see what I can find." Eddie offered her assistance while Jamie stayed with Linda.

A short while later Linda was treating a patient when she heard a commotion outside. She walked out of the curtain area to see Danny pacing and yelling, while Jamie tried to calm him down with Beaz and Eddie watching the two of them.

"Danny!" Linda walked over to him, "What are you doing here?" She stood next to Eddie who was watching the two brothers yell at each other.

"Are you okay?!" Danny hugged her tight, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I told you I'm okay." She said, "What's wrong with you two?"

"There's something you should see." Jamie said.

"No. She doesn't need to see anything." Danny shook his head.

"Danny, it's about her. Okay. Linda, this is hard to look at but you should see this. We already have officers headed to find Curtis." Jamie handed Linda a file folder. Inside were pictures of her house, of her leaving for work, of her through the open blinds, Linda at work, Linda driving in her car, at the store. Even pictures of her dropping the boys off at school. Every photo had a three digit number on it but there was no rhyme or reason to it. Linda felt sick to her stomach.

"What is this?" She asked Danny.

"They found that at the hotel room Curtis has been renting." Danny put his arm around her shoulders and kept one hand on his gun. He was scared for his wife's safety.

"They also found this." Eddie showed Linda a photo of a suitcase full of money and two handguns, "We think he was given the money to flush you out or try and hurt you." Eddie said.

"Jack and Sean." Linda gasped thinking about their safety.

"We've already got officers sent to the school. They are okay. I talked to Jack and the officers picking him and Sean up." Danny said, "They are bringing the boys to Pops."

Linda nodded her head, "Okay. Good. Good. So uh..now what?" Linda asked. As if on cue someone started screaming from the other side of the ER.

Danny pulled Linda to him as he, Jamie, Eddie and Beaz pulled their weapons out.

"BOMB!" Someone screamed causing everyone around to panic.

Eddie jumped on top of the nurses station desk to get a better view, "Out! Everyone out!" She saw the black briefcase in the middle of the floor with a timer ticking down.

"Get everyone out!" Danny yelled. He pushed Linda towards Jamie, "Get her out!" He yelled to his partner. Danny wasn't taking any chances. He needed to be there to make sure the civilians were safe. Linda didn't need to be in the building.

"Danny!" Linda pushed against Beaz as she was forcibly shoved out the door.

"Stop! He's okay! Stop! He's coming out!" Beaz tried to tell Linda who had started to panic, "It's okay! He's going to be okay!"

True to her words once the ER was clear, Danny, Jamie and Eddie walked out of the building. Linda ran to the middle of the street to meet Danny in the middle with a tight hug, "Don't do that to me again!" She hit his shoulder in frustration, "Ever!" 

"It's alright." Danny pulled out his cell phone to call Frank while Jamie and Eddie called in the bomb squad and Beaz got in touch with the hospital administrator telling them to evacuate the building. Soon the street was filled with lights and sirens. Linda stood with her back against Danny, whose arms were around her shoulders. They stood back and watched as the bomb squad arrive at the same time as Frank's vehicle.

"Everyone alright?" Frank asked as he walked over to his family.

Danny's arms tightened around Linda, "Yeah. No injuries." He reported.

"Good. We know who did this?" Frank asked.

"The guy you let stay out of jail." Linda huffed.

"Curtis did this?" Frank didn't believe Curtis was capable of such a thing.

"Nurse Reagan?" A hospital receptionist walked over, "We got this note for you."

Linda handed Danny the note to read first:

_I'm sorry. I have to do this. I have to finish what I started or they will hurt my mom. I'm sorry Nurse Reagan._

"You officially need round the clock protection and I won't take no for an answer." Danny told Linda.

"I have you." She argued.

"Not just me." Danny showed the note to Frank, "Think he's so innocent now?"

Frank frowned, "If I thought he was a danger I would have never signed off on the deal in the first place."

"Well obviously you were wrong." Danny looked around the crowd to see if Linda was in any more danger now than before. Danny held tight to Linda making sure he'd be the one hit if someone tried to shoot her, while Beaz, Jamie and Eddie unconsciously formed a circle around Linda completely surrounding her with armed cops. Linda started to shake and panic, "It's okay. You're safe. I promise. I got you." Danny kissed her cheek, "I'll keep you safe. I swear." Danny prayed he'd be right. He wanted to catch Curtis before they found out exactly what he meant when he wrote that note.


	11. Chapter 11

Danny hated this plan of action. He and Linda fought for hours about it. He didn't want her to get hurt. She could understand that. She was putting herself in a very risky spot. But she promised him that with him beside her, she knew she'd be safe. Linda was being used as bait. The only way they could find Curtis was to lure him out with Linda's help. Curtis seemed so desperate to see her that they knew he'd walk through the restraining order and find her. Frank had every cop in the city on high alert for Curtis. Jack, and Sean were unaware what exactly was going on with their parents. Just that their dad had sent officers to pick them up. It wasn't normal but it wasn't so abnormal that they thought much of it. They knew sometimes criminals threatened their father, so they assumed that was the case today. Henry was all to ready to let them think the best of things. 

Once the plan was set things started to take action. Sharp shooters were placed on rooftops, a helicopter was on standby, as were multiple ambulances. All cops involved were wearing their vests and the bomb squad was waiting in case they were needed.

Danny's hands shook as he made sure Linda's bullet proof vest was fitted tightly enough, "I don't like this. Linda, we can find someone else to do it." He carefully checked every angle.

"Danny, he knows my face. He won't come out for just anyone." Linda said.

"What if he gets to you?" Danny asked, "Linda, I can't lose you."

"You won't let that happen. I know you won't. Besides, there's cops all over the place out there. I'll be okay. Please, let me do this. If this is the only way to get Curtis behind bars then I'll do it" Linda said. They'd gotten a tip that Curtis was getting help from the junkies and local gang to find information on Linda. Where she was, what she was doing. Jamie and Eddie 'tipped off' an informant of theirs that ran with the crew Curtis was getting help from. Told him to make sure Curtis knew where to find Linda that night.

"Linda." Danny sighed, "You don't have to do this."

Linda pulled her shirt down over her vest, "Yes I do. If I don't do this he won't stop. And this way I'm surrounded by cops. I have you with me. There's snipers and cops with really big guns all watching, just in case." Linda said, "I'll be okay." Danny helped her with her jacket. She smiled softly as she noticed it was an NYPD issue jacket with Danny's name on the front.

"Remember. You don't have to get him to say or do anything. As soon as he's in the area we can arrest him for violating the restraining order. There's undercover officers all around. And I'll be right in here." He tapped the ear piece she had, "So you just walk the route through the park and I'll be with you the whole time. You'll be safe. I promise. He's not going to hurt you." Danny hugged her tight, "Are you sure about this?"

"I'm sure." A knock on the locker room door interrupted them.

"It's Jamie. You two ready to roll out?" He called through the closed door.

Linda kissed Danny slowly, "Yeah Jamie. We're ready." She took a deep breath and opened the door.

* * *

On the ride over Linda sat with Danny's arm around her as the team went over the plan one last time. Linda was being dropped in the city near a small park that was cleared of civilians. She was given a path to walk from a coffee shop to the park where she would sit for twenty minutes on a certain bench before walking back to the coffee shop. Sharp shooters were placed along the route, with plain clothes officers in the shop, on the street and in the park. ESU officers, bomb squad, ambulances and a helicopter were all standing by in case they were needed. Danny was going to be the one keeping constant communication with Linda while she walked. He'd be far enough behind her so he wouldn't be seen by close enough that he could take a shot if necessary. Jamie and Eddie would be in plain clothes in the park while Beaz was in an unmarked car on the road just past the coffee shop. Once everyone was in position it was time to drop Linda off. Danny kissed her before watching her get out of the van and walk into the coffee shop.

Linda ordered her coffee as she was instructed and started on her walk. She wasn't sure who was more nervous at the moment. Her or Danny.

Danny watched Linda like a hawk. Every move she made he saw. He knew the coffee shop was full of officers but it didn't make him less suspicious of everyone inside. Linda made her way to the bench in the park where Jamie and Eddie were in plain clothes as a doting couple on the other side of the park. Linda smiled to herself wondering if anything was going on between the two of them. While in her ear Danny kept her updated on if they spotted Curtis or not and kept telling her she was doing good and only needed to be out a little longer.

On her way back she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

"Nurse Reagan!' Curtis called out, "Nurse Reagan!"

Linda stopped just before crossing the street, "It's okay.....safe...'inda?" The ear piece started to malfunction. Linda couldn't hear Danny's voice anymore.

"Nurse Reagan. I just want to talk." Curtis came out of the bushes he was hiding in, "I'm sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean to. But they have my mom again." Curtis sounded so upset. Linda didn't know whether to be terrified for him or because of him.

"Curtis. You can't be here." She said, "You need to go." Linda said, "Go away Curtis." 

"Please. They have my mom." Curtis begged. Linda had thought nothing could go wrong. Danny was with her. Cops everywhere. The road was closed to through traffic. The one thing no one thought of was Curtis bringing his own friends. Linda quickly found herself surrounded by gang members, "I'm sorry Nurse Reagan. I'm really sorry. But I had no choice." Curtis slunk back against the bushes.

"Looks like it's just us." The tallest member of the group said.

One of the members grabbed her by the arm, "C'mere." He started to pull her towards the street. The second he stepped foot onto the street the night sky illuminate with a the spotlight from a helicopter, police lights, sirens and dozens of officers screaming for everyone to put their hands up. 

Linda was pulled backwards into someone's arms. She whipped her head around to see Jamie shoving her behind him with his gun pointed at the guy who was grabbing her, "Get down!" Jamie yelled at the man.

"Get back here Curtis!" Danny's voice echoed. Linda looked up to see Danny and Beaz chasing after Curtis on foot, "You think you can shoot my wife then set her up like this?!" Danny ran after him, "Get back here you son of a bitch!"

Curtis jumped the subway turntable trying to run from Beaz and Danny. Cops flooded in from all ends of the subway, "There's no where to go Curtis!" Danny yelled, "Give up!"

"Nah man!" Curtis shook his head, "Nah. I ain't goin' to prison!" He backed up towards the subway track.

"Don't do it Curtis!" Beaz yelled.

"Peace." Curtis looked at the oncoming train before stepping backwards onto the track. The wheels screeched as the train hit the emergency brakes but there wasn't enough time. Curtis was killed instantly.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Linda was leaning against the hood of Danny's unmarked car when he and Beaz came up from the subway.

Jamie was standing in front of Linda talking to her when she put her hand out to him, "Danny." She said.

Jamie looked over, "I wonder where the kid is." 

"Yeah I don't know. He still has his gun so he must not have shot Curtis." Linda said, "But where is he? Oh god. He's caught right? They didn't lose him did they?" 

"No. If they thought he was on a train hey would have hopped the next one." Jamie explained, "Somethings' not write."

"I'm going to go see Danny." Linda felt bad for leaving Jamie but she had to go see her husband. Linda ran over to Danny, "You're okay." She said relieved to be in his arms.

"And you're okay." Danny held her tight, "It's over. It's all over now." He said kissing her cheek, her lips, her neck, anywhere he could reach. 

"What's going to happen to Curtis?" Linda asked not knowing his fate.

"Nothing." Beaz said, "He jumped in front of a subway train before we could arrest him."

"Oh his poor mother." Linda felt guilty. She felt as if it was her fault that was his only option.

"But you're safe. And that's what matters." Danny said, "Did you get checked out by a paramedic?"

Linda shook her head, "I'm fine. The guy grabbed my arm. I'm okay." 

"They can judge that." He took her hand to get confirmation that she wasn't hurt at all.

"Danny, I'm alright." Linda sighed.

"Then just humor me. Please?" Danny asked softly. There was that tone again. She heard it in the bedroom when he asked to see her back. How was she supposed to say no to that tone?.

"Okay. Fine. I'll get checked out." Linda waited for the paramedics to tell her exactly what she told Danny. That she was perfectly fine and without injury.

Once they were cleared Danny drove Linda back to the precinct where he and Beaz were prepared to drop their paperwork for the night and call it a day. However, their Sargent had a better idea. Get the paperwork done tonight and take tomorrow off. Danny reluctantly returned to his desk to fill out his paperwork. Linda sat next to Danny's desk unwilling to go home without him. Two hours, a light snack and three cups of coffee later Danny had finished everything. Linda thanked Beaz for her help and protection as she and Danny walked to Danny's car.

Danny carefully drove the two of them home. Linda had fallen asleep during the car ride. Danny wasn't sure if it was the exhaustion of the situation she'd just been in or exhaustion from everything going on since the shooting. In any case, he unlocked the front door before carrying his sleeping wife inside. Danny kicked the door shut, walking Linda directly up to their room. After securing the house Danny came back upstairs. Linda hadn't moved. She must have been so tired. Danny carefully removed her sneakers in an attempt to make her more comfortable. But she was still wearing his NYPD jacket and her blue jeans. He didn't know what he'd do without her. If they hadn't caught up to Curtis. If one of those guys pulled a gun. He shuddered to think of Linda being hurt even more. Danny changed while Linda dozed on top of their bed. He grabbed her a long comfortable night shirt, "Wake up just for a few minutes and I'll help you change." He kissed her lips, "I know you're tired and I promise you can go back to sleep. But right now I need you to sit up for me."

Linda sighed, "I am  _so_ tired." She shimmied out of her pants and let Danny take her shirt off, "And your coat is warm and smells like you." She said half asleep still. Linda put the nightshirt on and slid her bra off through the sleeve.

"Lie down." Danny pulled the covers back and held his arms open, "It's late. We should get some sleep. Then we have the day tomorrow until the boys come home from school." Danny rubbed her arm gently, "Don't scare me like that again. Okay?" 

Linda nodded her head, "Okay. What do we do now?" She asked.

"What do you mean" Danny wasn't sure what she was talking about.

"Curtis. It is ruled a suicide or are you on modified duty while they figure it out?" She questioned him.

"Suicide. There were enough witnesses plus security tapes of it." Danny said.

"Oh. Okay." Linda yawned wide. A moment of silence passed amicably between the two, "Danny?"

"Yeah babe" He kissed her forehead.

"I knew you'd keep me safe." Linda smiled, "You always keep me safe. Since our first date. You've always been the one I can count on for safety."

"Linda, no matter what, you'll always be safe with me. I promise. It doesn't matter what's going on. You're safety is my number one priority." Danny told her, "I love you so much Linda."

"I love you more." She grinned.

"I love you the most." Danny sealed his words with a kiss.

Linda prayed this would be the end of the bad things happening to her family. Curtis was dead and couldn't hurt them anymore. He couldn't come after her. He couldn't scare her. She could sleep without nightmares. She felt safe. She felt normal. She felt like things were getting better. Linda didn't know then, that the calm in her life at the moment would only be the eye of the storm. There was the whole back of the hurricane to go through and it would be more turbulent and terrifying than anything she'd been through before. She didn't know that soon she'd have to fight again to save not only her life but her family as well. Despite all that hard work and fighting, this time she'd come out of the darkness with a reward so sweet she could have never imagined such a thing possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, commented and sent kudos! It was great. Hope you enjoyed this little prequel to Out Of The Darkness. I can't wait to start the next story. :) You are all so amazing! Thank you so much for reading! Hope you enjoyed it!!


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